uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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