My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
id be glad to
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm at about main and main street
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Randomize
