I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
