You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
