I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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