a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he was CRYING into my vagina
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
