You made me cry and you don't even care
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Yo dont text me then not text me
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I think people are normalizing furries
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
