youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
