the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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