Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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