No stitches, just platelets and will power
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
