My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize