Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
