It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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