he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize