i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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