Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
