The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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