Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
