I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
