clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
