suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
