dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Be still, my beating vagina.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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