She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
