bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
