i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize