Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
