I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
