A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
