is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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