So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
