The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
