What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
