wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
