I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Drunk is not a location!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
