i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
