I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
