You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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