Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Randomize
