this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
