I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
