I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
