Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
