I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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