he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
These tits shall not be calmed
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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