if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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