The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
