I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
