From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
