hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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