Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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