I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
