i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
