one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
