so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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