for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
