just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
