Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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